(Note: This entire blog post is totally TMI (Too. Much. Info!) about poo and pooing and the smell of poo. But lots of y’all have been asking about and looking forward to this review and product giveaway so I know I’m not the only one out there who is somewhat obsessed! Hee!)

Thanks to The DROPS, when going number two, the bathroom no longer has to smell like poo! As the colorful packaging suggests, indeed, “A FEW DROPS AND THE SMELL STOPS!”

Back to the subject…I travel quite a bit, which means that I end up pooing in some interesting places. Holes in the ground when overseas, plastic bags when camping (An aside: am I the only one who grew up thinking that the smell of poo attracts bears? Rupak thinks I’m crazy for this.), on turbulent airplanes, at nasty rest stops that probably hadn’t been cleaned since before I was born….when nature calls, I usually have no problem answering, with one huge exception: I cannot stand to go poo when I’m at anyone’s home besides my own. From my aunt’s house to my best friend’s apartment, when I have to drop the kids off at the pool I try my hardest to wait until I can get home (or at least until I pass a fast food restaurant when driving back). Sometimes, however, after an especially spicy meal or a poorly timed coffee break, it’s impossible to hold it in. Me (and my panties) just CAN’T wait until I get home. You know that feeling!

So I have a ridiculous emergency poo plan:

• Step 1) I wait for the perfect opportunity to sneak away for enough time so that no one will notice that I am gone and try to find me in the middle of my business.
• Step 2) I immediately scan the bathroom for a fan, and if there is none, I check for a window to open. If there isn’t a window, then I am sad and search cabinets for perfumes or anything that I think will help off-set odors.
• Step 3) I keep the water running and while I’m going, I flush as many times as the toilet will allow from start to finish.
• Step 4) After washing my hands with tons of soap, hoping the soap’s fragrance will overpower the poo (yeah, right), I try to make sure no one sees me exit the crime scene, and I pray that no one has to use the toilet for at least a minute or two after me.
• Step 5) If asked, I deny EVERYTHING.

It never works out the way I want it to, and someone usually sniffs out my secret. Literally. And I feel totally gross. Sure, there should be no shame surrounding a natural bodily function, but the smell, OMG, the smell! It’s impossible to not be mortified.

But now my away-from-home pooing experience has totally changed! I have found the most awesomest of awesome stealth poo products!

Rupak and I had lots of fun testing out three different smell-stopping products over the past few weeks. Two of the three brands were absolutely TERRIBLE, so instead of doing a review of how awful they were I am just going to talk about the one that was by far the best:

The DROPS, in “Citrus Bubble” scent!

(Note: I have never been in contact with the makers of The DROPS and I promise that this isn’t any kind of paid endorsement.)

The DROPS

• $7 + $3 shipping for one .41oz bottle from www.thedrops.com. (FYI, I bought my bottle on eBay for slightly less.)
• Each bottle contains about 300 drops, enough for about 40-50 poos, because I personally suggest using a “double dose” of 6-8 drops instead of the recommended 3-4. Still, that’s just pennies a poo!
• Two different scents are available. I haven’t tried “Fresh Lavender,” but I can’t imagine it possibly being better than “Citrus Bubble,” which smells delicious.

The online video directions are useful, except that the video depicts poo-smell as evil-looking flying spiders. I hate spiders, so this vid might give me nightmares, but the nightmares are worth it for this product!

The most important step is to squirt the drops into the toilet a few seconds before you go. Not only does the smell never have a chance, but also during and after your poo the entire room smells like Dubble Bubble bubble gum! Now, I actually WANT people to need to use the bathroom after me, if only so they can be impressed by the aroma of candy that follows me out!

In the toilet, The DROPS spread and form an oily barrier on top of the toilet water, blocking the smell of your poo from rising above the water. Because of this, if you’re pooing in one of those environmentally conscious water-saver toilets, this product probably won’t be very effective.

Also, if you have five minutes of your life to waste, the people who make The DROPS have a really quirky sense of humor about the entire absurdity surrounding this product and they have created a flash video that is hilarious. Check it out here.

I just love The DROPS so much that I can’t keep this to myself; I want to give it to you!

If you want to win one of 5 brand new bottles of The DROPS, leave a comment below this post!

On February 29th I will select five comments using a random number generator and I’ll email the winners and announce them here on the blog!

****UPDATE****
So this is awesome, y’all - THE DROPS people are SO excited that you recognize the need for this product that the owner actually emailed me!!!

If you can’t wait for the promotion to be over, and have to have your drops NOW NOW NOW, Bill has given my readers an exclusive promotion code BODYDRAMA to receive free shipping at the time of check-out! That’s basically a 30% savings!!!

THE DROPS also asks my audience this question:
“If you could make THE DROPS in any scent what would you pick?”

Let THE DROPS know your most desired stealth stool scent in the comments - for a chance to still win one of five free bottles (now graciously sponsored by THE DROPS)!

Tagged as Book Extras

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Though we don’t talk about it much, vaginal discharge is a big part of being a woman. No, it’s not mentioned in health class or sex ed, but it’s always there, and it can tell you a lot about your well-being! As promised in the “My vagina secretes stuff” drama on page 129 of Body Drama, here is a super-duper vaginal discharge calendar for all your discharge tracking needs!

Remember to see your doctor if while keeping your vaginal discharge charts you notice any of the following:

• discharge that is an unusual color (such as yellow or green)
• bad odors
• more discharge than usual for an extended period of time
• anything painful or accompanied by sores

Click Here to Download the BODY DRAMA Vaginal Discharge Calendar PDF File

Have fun with this calendar- I know I am!

DISCLAIMER: The author is not engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions contained on this blog are not intended as a substitute for consulting with your physician. All matters regarding your health require medical supervision. The author shall not be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion on this blog.

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When writing Body Drama, I faced a dilemma. I wanted to share all of the good, the bad, and the ugly of our bodily functions, and I also wanted to shed more light on how absurdly unfair our culture’s obsession with bodily perfection is. Still, as much body drama as we have to deal with in America, there are parts of the world that have it far worse. I wanted to convey that as well.

On page 89 of Body Drama, I share a bit of information about the young women of Cameroon, many of whom go through the agonizing process of having their chests ironed with hot stones in order to slow down breast growth. In Cameroon, breasts indicate that a girl is ready for marriage, regardless of her actual age or maturity. Once married, she is pulled from school, leaving her uneducated and weak. The longer she can keep her breasts from showing, the longer she can stay in school, and the better chance she will have for a healthy and happy life.

Sadly, some parents aren’t worried about their daughters being married off too early, but they are worried about their daughters becoming sexually promiscuous, so they iron their daughters’ breasts in an attempt to prevent romantic encounters.

Regardless of the reason for the breast ironing, the young women themselves usually have no say about the choice that is made to iron their breasts. The painful and traumatic procedure is performed on them against their will.

Breast ironing isn’t the only way women’s bodies are routinely abused. Other global examples include female genital mutilation, a procedure that involves the mandatory removal of parts of a woman’s genitals for social acceptance. Some cultures “only” remove the clitoris (taking away most of the pleasurable nerve endings down there), while other cultures remove the clitoris and the inner labia (see page 117 in Body Drama for descriptions and photographs of the parts of a woman’s vulva and vagina). Still other cultures remove even more flesh from that area, requiring weeks of recovery and leaving only a pin-sized hole to painfully urinate from. In some cultures, women who do not have this procedure done are often shunned or even killed, so the pressure is on parents to continue this barbaric practice, even though it is illegal in many places. According to Amnesty International, over two million women still endure female genital mutilation every year.

There are many other ways that our bodies are treated poorly in America and around the world (rape, sexual violence, physical abuse, etc.) and I will post about these issues later. However, right now, I wanted to remind everyone that we are super lucky to be able to even have discussions about and ask questions regarding our bodies, and we shouldn’t forget that. Some women are dying (literally) for an opportunity to be able to know, own, and love their natural bodies.

How Can You Help?

At first, attempting to help women who live thousands of miles away from you may seem useless, but there are many ways you can make a great difference in the lives of others no matter where you (or they) are!

1) Educate Yourself. The more you know about the issues that women face in your own country and around the world, the more you can help. A knowledgeable person can spread the word and create awareness about barbaric rituals like breast ironing and female genital mutilation, so read your local paper and check out global online news sources like BBC.com. Every day, you’ll find stories on dozens of issues and causes and concerns for you to form opinions on.

2) Donate. Most of us don’t have a lot of extra money, but every little bit that you can spare helps. If a certain issue or cause speaks to you, try sacrificing something that you frequently purchase until you’ve saved up a sizeable amount. For example, if you buy a soda from the school vending machine at every lunch, try going without one starting tomorrow. By the end of next month, you will have saved $20-$30! That might not sound like a lot, but in other parts of the world that amount of money can do a lot of good. You can also consider having a car wash, bake sale, walk-a-thon, or another fundraiser for your organization of choice. If you haven’t picked an organization yet, here are a few for you to look into, but if none of these fit your interests, keep looking. It’s important to do your own research and to find the organization that you and your personal beliefs best fit.

• V-Day is a global movement to stop violence against women and girls.
• UNICEF addresses the long-term needs of children and women in developing countries everywhere. Also focuses on gender equality and the education of girls.
• Amnesty International is a worldwide movement of people who campaign for internationally recognized human rights to be respected and protected for everyone. One of its focuses is stopping violence against women.
• Girls Speak Out offers workshops, action projects, trainings, and conferences that build girls’ strengths and power as leaders on five continents and countless countries, including Cameroon.

3) Do Something. It is very powerful to realize what you can accomplish for a cause once you (and perhaps some of your friends) decide to take the issue seriously. For example, the only reason we know about breast ironing is because of a group of dedicated women called The Network of Aunties Association, also known as RENATA. The women of RENATA are survivors of breast ironing who decided to take a stand against this unfair process that left them both emotionally and physically scarred. As Margaret Mead once said, “Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.” Once you figure out what you are most passionate about, get started ASAP on making a difference!

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As I say in Body Drama, no one can explain the precise cause of birthmarks, but genetics plays a part in the mix. For example, my Grandma Nancy (I’m named after her) had a Florida-shaped hyperpigmentation spot (darker mark on lighter skin) on her inner right thigh. My mom has the same exact birthmark, but right in the middle of her forehead. I have the exact same birthmark in the exact same place as my grandmother, which leads me to believe that my little girl will probably be sporting the forehead Florida!

In the past, facial birthmarks were considered disfiguring and impossible to conceal, but today, people can find relief from their facial birthmarks in a variety of ways. Laser surgery works for some (though it can cause scarring in others) and makeup is always an option, too. Some go au naturel and choose to embrace their birthmark as a wonderful part of who they are.

Whatever you want to do about it, if you have a facial birthmark, scar, or other unique issue that is visible to the entire world, it is very important to not let it make you who you are. How you choose to work with what you’ve got is what really matters!

For an example of someone who hasn’t let their facial birthmark keep them from achieving their dreams and goals, check out this actress/dancer’s story:


“I have a large port wine birthmark on my cheek. I started wearing makeup in the 6th grade after being called “buttface” by the boys on the bus. I used to avoid swimming in public settings because it would wash my make-up off. I also had several laser surgeries to lighten the color, but it was an experimental thing at the time and I ended up with a little scarring. I think the hardest thing about having it is feeling like I always have to have make-up on. I use Dermablend and Colortration for coverup.”

“Although I was teased mercilessly as a kid, I have successfully done print ads and even beauty shots with this mark and I don’t feel it has ever kept me from being cast, and in the past few years I have been working on being more comfortable with people seeing me without make-up.”

Thanks for sharing your story, B! There are lots of women out there who are facing similar issues who will feel better after reading about your experience!

Have you a facial birthmark or scar story that you’d like to share? Contact me and I’ll post it!

Tagged as Book Extras, Real Stories from Real Girls

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As I say on page 59 of Body Drama, gorgeous skin doesn’t have to cost a fortune! You can beautify your skin for pennies with common household products. On pages 32 -33 I share how to give yourself an aspirin-based facial to soothe spotty skin, and page 59 offers even more facial recipes (like the Honey-Avocado Facial Mask, which is my favorite), but I couldn’t resist sharing a few more ingredients to use in making your own homemade facials, as well as a couple of ingredients good for body scrubs. After all, why buy when these masks and scrubs are so cheap to try?

Remember, food and chemical allergies also apply to what you spread on the outside of your body. For example, if your throat closes when you eat avocados, DO NOT use the avocado facial mask. Even if you don’t have any allergies that you know about, it’s a good idea to do a “patch test.” Before using, dab some of the mask or scrub on your neck or inner wrist and wait five minutes to check for allergic reactions, such as redness, tingling, or a rash.

Depending on your skin’s needs, try mixing and matching these cheap facial mask ingredients to get started on a path towards smooth skin. For a single application, only a tablespoon or two of each ingredient is necessary.

Inexpensive Facial Mask Ingredients

• Raw Egg, either whole, just the white, or just the yolk (egg is good for all skin types, and extra yolk is great for dry skin)
• Cucumber(very refreshing mashed up in a mask OR sliced and placed over eyes during relaxation)
• Lemon Juice (great for skin discoloration from old pimples)
• Strawberries (great when mashed up for skin discoloration from old pimples)
• Sour Cream (especially for dry skin)
• Olive Oil (especially for dry skin)
• Baking Yeast (especially for oily skin)
• Tomato (great when mashed up for oily skin)
• Milk of Magnesia (especially great for oily skin)
• Oatmeal (exfoliates and moisturizes)
• Cornmeal (exfoliates and moisturizes)
• Banana (softens and moisturizes)
• Honey (I mentioned this in Body Drama, but I wanted to plug it again, as it is great for all skin types to tighten pores, to draw out impurities, and to soften skin)

Inexpensive Body Scrub Ingredients

Many of the ingredients used in facial masks can also be used in body scrubs, especially cornmeal, olive oil, oatmeal, and as I mention on page 59, coffee. Two more ingredients that are too harsh to use on our faces (or genitals) but are perfect for the rest of our body parts include sugar (brown and white) and salt (table or epsom).

For an all-over body scrub, triple the number of ingredients that you would use for a facial. For example, if you use one tablespoon of honey, two strawberries, and one tablespoon of cornmeal for your facial, use three tablespoons of honey, six strawberries, and three tablespoons of cornmeal for your body scrub. As you become more accustomed to making your masks and scrubs, the proper amounts will become easier to gauge!

If you’re interested in purchasing a few extras for your facials and scrubs, consider these under $10 oils:

• Lavender Essential Oil (just a drop or two for any skin type will bring a boost to your facial routine)
• Tea Tree Oil (especially good for acne-prone skin)
• Vitamin E Oil (great for skin discoloration from old pimples)

More Cheap Extras!

If you’re looking for a good toner, many women swear by witch hazel as an inexpensive but effective facial refresher. Also, milk of magnesia can be used not only as an ingredient in your facials but also as a soothing toner, especially if you have oily skin.

If you have dry skin, try a week of moisturizing your face and body only with olive oil. It may work wonders for you, but if it doesn’t…you can always cook with the rest!

Contact me if you have other cheap facial ingredients that you’d like to share! I’ll include them on this list and credit you!

DISCLAIMER: The author is not engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions contained on this blog are not intended as a substitute for consulting with your physician. All matters regarding your health require medical supervision. The author shall not be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion on this blog.

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