(Note: This entire blog post is totally TMI (Too. Much. Info!) about poo and pooing and the smell of poo. But lots of y’all have been asking about and looking forward to this review and product giveaway so I know I’m not the only one out there who is somewhat obsessed! Hee!)

Thanks to The DROPS, when going number two, the bathroom no longer has to smell like poo! As the colorful packaging suggests, indeed, “A FEW DROPS AND THE SMELL STOPS!”

Back to the subject…I travel quite a bit, which means that I end up pooing in some interesting places. Holes in the ground when overseas, plastic bags when camping (An aside: am I the only one who grew up thinking that the smell of poo attracts bears? Rupak thinks I’m crazy for this.), on turbulent airplanes, at nasty rest stops that probably hadn’t been cleaned since before I was born….when nature calls, I usually have no problem answering, with one huge exception: I cannot stand to go poo when I’m at anyone’s home besides my own. From my aunt’s house to my best friend’s apartment, when I have to drop the kids off at the pool I try my hardest to wait until I can get home (or at least until I pass a fast food restaurant when driving back). Sometimes, however, after an especially spicy meal or a poorly timed coffee break, it’s impossible to hold it in. Me (and my panties) just CAN’T wait until I get home. You know that feeling!

So I have a ridiculous emergency poo plan:

• Step 1) I wait for the perfect opportunity to sneak away for enough time so that no one will notice that I am gone and try to find me in the middle of my business.
• Step 2) I immediately scan the bathroom for a fan, and if there is none, I check for a window to open. If there isn’t a window, then I am sad and search cabinets for perfumes or anything that I think will help off-set odors.
• Step 3) I keep the water running and while I’m going, I flush as many times as the toilet will allow from start to finish.
• Step 4) After washing my hands with tons of soap, hoping the soap’s fragrance will overpower the poo (yeah, right), I try to make sure no one sees me exit the crime scene, and I pray that no one has to use the toilet for at least a minute or two after me.
• Step 5) If asked, I deny EVERYTHING.

It never works out the way I want it to, and someone usually sniffs out my secret. Literally. And I feel totally gross. Sure, there should be no shame surrounding a natural bodily function, but the smell, OMG, the smell! It’s impossible to not be mortified.

But now my away-from-home pooing experience has totally changed! I have found the most awesomest of awesome stealth poo products!

Rupak and I had lots of fun testing out three different smell-stopping products over the past few weeks. Two of the three brands were absolutely TERRIBLE, so instead of doing a review of how awful they were I am just going to talk about the one that was by far the best:

The DROPS, in “Citrus Bubble” scent!

(Note: I have never been in contact with the makers of The DROPS and I promise that this isn’t any kind of paid endorsement.)

The DROPS

• $7 + $3 shipping for one .41oz bottle from www.thedrops.com. (FYI, I bought my bottle on eBay for slightly less.)
• Each bottle contains about 300 drops, enough for about 40-50 poos, because I personally suggest using a “double dose” of 6-8 drops instead of the recommended 3-4. Still, that’s just pennies a poo!
• Two different scents are available. I haven’t tried “Fresh Lavender,” but I can’t imagine it possibly being better than “Citrus Bubble,” which smells delicious.

The online video directions are useful, except that the video depicts poo-smell as evil-looking flying spiders. I hate spiders, so this vid might give me nightmares, but the nightmares are worth it for this product!

The most important step is to squirt the drops into the toilet a few seconds before you go. Not only does the smell never have a chance, but also during and after your poo the entire room smells like Dubble Bubble bubble gum! Now, I actually WANT people to need to use the bathroom after me, if only so they can be impressed by the aroma of candy that follows me out!

In the toilet, The DROPS spread and form an oily barrier on top of the toilet water, blocking the smell of your poo from rising above the water. Because of this, if you’re pooing in one of those environmentally conscious water-saver toilets, this product probably won’t be very effective.

Also, if you have five minutes of your life to waste, the people who make The DROPS have a really quirky sense of humor about the entire absurdity surrounding this product and they have created a flash video that is hilarious. Check it out here.

I just love The DROPS so much that I can’t keep this to myself; I want to give it to you!

If you want to win one of 5 brand new bottles of The DROPS, leave a comment below this post!

On February 29th I will select five comments using a random number generator and I’ll email the winners and announce them here on the blog!

****UPDATE****
So this is awesome, y’all – THE DROPS people are SO excited that you recognize the need for this product that the owner actually emailed me!!!

If you can’t wait for the promotion to be over, and have to have your drops NOW NOW NOW, Bill has given my readers an exclusive promotion code BODYDRAMA to receive free shipping at the time of check-out! That’s basically a 30% savings!!!

THE DROPS also asks my audience this question:
“If you could make THE DROPS in any scent what would you pick?”

Let THE DROPS know your most desired stealth stool scent in the comments – for a chance to still win one of five free bottles (now graciously sponsored by THE DROPS)!