OK, How cool is it that the Richmond Times-Dispatch did their own test study with six women to see what they thought of Body Drama? WAY cool, to me! I am so appreciative of the fact that Penelope took the time to get these opinions, and I absolutely loved reading about the women’s different reactions to the book, and seeing them opening up about their own body dramas was very satisfying. It’s so great to get a dialogue started!

The photographer who airbrushed out the one woman’s facial moles without her consent, as though they were facial flaws and not unique blessings, is SO uncool it’s not even funny! And the Korean woman’s girlhood experiences of binding her breasts because large breasts represented a lack of intelligence in Korea reminds me of the the women in Cameroon that I talk about on page 89 of Body Drama and right here on my blog, who sadly and desperately iron their breasts (ouch!) in an attempt to keep them from growing, because breasts indicate that a woman is ready to be forever plucked from school and married off, regardless of her age. And to think that we Americans tend to stress out over flat chests!

I really love and completely connect with the mom who didn’t understand the need for the photographs in Body Drama, but whose 20-year-old daughter was really into the book - sounds SO similar to my experience with my mom! My mom loves Body Drama now, but as you may know, she wasn’t always a fan of me writing this book. In fact, she thought it was going to be porn at first, which totally hurt my feelings, because I always try to please my mom in everything I do. However, she is the best proofreader in the world, and I insisted that she be the first to proof my earliest drafts. Being my awesome and loyal mom, she couldn’t say no to helping out her daughter in need, no matter how sticky the subject, so she read many, many, MANY versions of Body Drama.

And you know what? Dozens of great conversations were started because of her reading Body Drama and giving me her feedback, and not just on typos, either. We started talking about REAL issues that matter, and we’ve become SO much closer and we talk about SO much more stuff now! She actually laughed out loud at the New York Mag article, and after reading it she immediately called her older sister, and they giggled some more together! Yes, this is the same woman who originally thought my book was going to be labeled porn. Progress is possible, people!

Penelope’s article has inspired me to do a Q&A with my mom (and maybe her sister, if she’ll do it!), both women who grew up in the 1940s and 1950s (I was a very late-in-life surprise baby for my mom, the “flu” that was “caught” on vacation). So check back later for those Q&As, and feel free to email me with your own personal body dramas and your thoughts on Body Drama. Here’s the Richmond Times-Dispatch’s article!

Every body has an issue, what’s yours?
This blunt, illustrated book covers and explores women’s physical problems, reality
By PENELOPE M. CARRINGTON

If you’re female, you’ve probably experienced body drama, be it odor from your nether regions, a mustache, cellulite or breasts that no longer resist gravity.

Now teen girls and women can read about these issues - and more - in-depth in “Body Drama: Real Girls, Real Bodies, Real Issues, Real Answers” (Gotham Books, $20) by Miss Virginia 2003 Nancy Amanda Redd.

We snagged advance copies of the Martinsville native’s book and gave them to six area women. They are mothers, wives and significant others. They teach, run businesses, stay at home with their kids, work in retail or as massage therapists. Here’s what they had to say about the book and their own body dramas:

Name: Emily DeCarlo
Background: Poet and author. She’s been in education for 25 years, 13 of which have been spent teaching at James River High School.

A jaw-dropper: “I didn’t know [the book] was like this. . . . I was thinking, ‘She should’ve put this in a brown paper bag.’ . . . But my daughter was like, ‘This is wonderful. . . . I have questions about these things.’ . . . If my daughter was a teenager, I wouldn’t show her the book, but she’s 20. . . . The pictures were too much, too blunt and it was too much for me.”

Back then: “When I was a teenager and I had questions, I ordered a book. It answered my questions, but it had no pictures. If my mother would’ve given me a book with [women’s] body parts showing, that would’ve been strange to me. I would’ve been like, ‘Why would she do that?’”

Focused inward: “My perspective [on body image] is more spiritual, and it’s been like that since I was little. A person can be beautiful without going to drastic measures. I like having different clothes and hairstyles, . . . that’s the poetic part of me . . . with that comes my reflection on the inner person; a person who will do some good for the world. If I had money, it wouldn’t be used to change the shape of my nose or the shape of my lips. It would maybe build a shelter for women or children who have been abused.”

Name: Meg Phillips, 30
Background: Stay-at-home mom. Daughter is 4; Pregnant with baby No. 2.

The book: “There are a lot of things in here that may be easier to bring up [with teens] . . . and talk about rather than not talking about them at all. There were even things . . . I experienced from having a baby that I didn’t know or think about. It’s certainly something I would’ve liked to have had 10 years ago.”

On using real women as models: “Sometimes if you don’t have a picture . . . [the topic] doesn’t seem real. It’s like it’s fine to talk about, but it doesn’t really happen to everybody.”

Speaking of everybody . . . Phillips said she was at the gym last week when photos of actress Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared on TV. The rear-view photos showed a bikini-clad Hewitt with cellulite. “It’s funny, because that’s what most people have.”

On pregnancy and body image: “Most women don’t leave the hospital wearing the clothes they did before they were pregnant. . . . After I had a baby, I was like, ‘The baby weighed 7 pounds, what happened to the other 25?’ . . . After I had my first child, I never felt so body-conscious. When you hear so many people saying, ‘Oh my god, you look so good. I can’t believe you had a baby,’ while you’re out with your friends - and they’re not saying it to you - you think: ‘Oh my god! Do I not look good? Are my thighs too fat?’”

Taboo talk: “Some of the things [Redd] talked about are very true, but go unspoken, even among very close girlfriends.”

Name: Megan Buckler, 22
Background: Youngest of six. Works at a women’s clothing store.

Thoughts on the book: “I love the book. It just had so many interesting little tidbits: I really like the thing about moles . . . because I do have moles. I had heard it before, but seeing it written down was really helpful. . . . This is all those things you’d sit down at your computer and Google.”

Whom she asked about female things: The sister closest to her, who is three years older, or her sisters-in-law. Why not mom? “I don’t know if it’s because she was uncomfortable about it or it was me . . . but we can talk about anything else.”

Back-then body drama: Her facial moles. “I remember for my senior-year picture, the photographer erased my moles [without permission] . . . and I thought that was kind of like erasing a part of who I am. . . . It was kind of like saying there was something wrong with me, so he took care of it.”

If only . . . “If I would’ve had this book [five years ago], it probably would’ve made me feel much more comfortable and confident with myself. It proves you’re not crazy, and you’re not a freak. It’s just comforting to see other people with [the same issues]. It’s life. . . . And it’s refreshing to be open and honest.”

Name: Yonnette Poindexter, 39
Background: Hair stylist and owner of Beyond Beauty Spa & Salon on East Grace Street. Mother of five, including girls ages 15 and 22.

The book: “I thought it was interesting [Redd] didn’t have all skinny women [featured]. It was women of all sizes, which was nice, because everybody is not skinny.”

What she learned: “I never knew women had inverted nipples. I didn’t know people got acne on their back or their [behinds] . . . The book was very informative to the point you wanted to read more and more.”

Whom did she talk to as a teen about . . . you know? “When I grew up, talking about sex, babies and diseases - it was taboo. Even when I got my period, they just gave me the thing and said, ‘Just change it when you think it needs to be changed.’ When I asked why I was bleeding, I never got an answer.”

Spreading the word: “I would show this to my clients, because there are things in here [women] don’t know, and we need to know. If there wasn’t such controversy about telling teens [such things], I wouldn’t mind showing it to a bunch of teenagers. . . . I don’t think [Redd] left anything out about what a woman needs to know or what we go through physically or mentally.”

Name: Raechel Cutlip, 22
Background: Certified massage therapist at Beyond Beauty Spa & Salon. Her son will turn 1 this month.

Thoughts on the book: “I like these kinds of books - the descriptions . . . and the fact that they had stuff I could relate to.”

Questions as a teen: “My mom, she talked to me about some stuff - but [only] when it happened. I didn’t get the sex talk.”

Body parts she’s self-conscious about: “My breasts. I won’t go into detail, but it was in the book.”

Why women feel so pressured: “It’s the media and the [message] that all girls have got to be skinny and they have to have perfect breasts.”

Looking good is harder: “Before I was pregnant, I did exercise, but I didn’t do it seriously. Now I do these DVD things - Billy Blanks’ Taebo . . . because when you do, you feel energized. But you still look the same for a little while until you start to lose weight. . . . I’m getting back in shape, but you don’t feel cute. You’re aching and sagging, and you just feel like a blob.”

Name: Chinsuk Henshaw, 47
Background: Business owner. Mother of five, including a 15-year-old daughter. Grew up in Uijungbu-City, South Korea, and moved to the U.S. at age 20.

Something new: “That was the first time ever I’ve read something so real. . . . This book is very direct and very clear. . . . It seems they didn’t want to [sugarcoat] any of it, but some of us . . . want it with the sugar.”

Growing up in Korea: “We were just taught that you don’t get involved with anyone. . . . You really had to be quite daring to try anything. Now we are all modernized and the culture is changing in Korea, so it’s quite the opposite.”

Bigger wasn’t always better: “In Korea, we [used to] compress our bosom. And just like the blond jokes here, in Korea . . . someone with big breasts had no brains. Now women want to have plastic surgery to make [their breasts] bigger.”

Nursing difference: “We had very modest dress . . . but it was a natural thing for you to nurse your child anywhere. . . . When you come over here, you can have a nude picture anywhere, but you don’t [nurse] in front of anyone else.”

Milestone body drama: “My parents said, ‘You feel young in your heart,’ . . . but with your body and how it’s turning out, you know you’re different. . . . “At 30, . . . the major change was the pattern of my period, which was heavier, and I got tired more easily. . . . At 40, I really didn’t mind the white hair. . . . But the last few years, my body is really reshaping.”

The article is located here on the Times-Dispatch’s website!

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